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May 28, 2008 My Prison No More Written by: Josh |
 I took great delight in capturing this moment forever. Of the very few regrets I have from my life, nearly all of them reside here. I know it's just a building, but it's a symbol of all the things I wish I had stood up to so many years ago. On my first day in this school, Cony High School, I was told in a speech from Geraldine Masey that the next four years would be the best years of my entire life. Upon her saying this, my first and only thought was about how arrogant she was, saying that high school would be the peak of all these young peoples lives. How truely sad... For the record Geraldine, HIGH SCHOOL IS NOT AND WILL NEVER BE THE BEST PART OF ANYONE'S LIFE! AT LEAST NOT AT YOUR SCHOOL. Some people might think that's harsh. I don't think so at all. I'm very good at recognizing bad people and this woman is no exception. I could go on and on with stories, rumors and first hand experiences but it's a waste of your time. The underlying fact is that she cared nothing for her students and whatever skills she did have were blinded by her alcohol abuse. I know an old drunk when I see one and I'll be damned if she's gonna give me advice about my life all the while her's is in ruins. To make matters worse, she's not the only one I had problems with. There were a handful of others who took great delight in making me miserable when it suited them. Looking in as an outside observer, the obvious cause of the problem would be the student. How could it possibly be the adults? I often wonder if my manerisms and independent thinking caused most of my problems. Some indivduals become incredibly vicious when they can't control you and force their opinions on you. So they keep after you, call you a trouble maker and accuse you of things. The highlight of all accusations made of me was when I was called out of class to the vice principals office and directly asked if I was making a bomb. Looking back, I wish I had said, "I can be your worst nightmare if that's what you really want." And tell them that I could make certain they would never forget my name. I stayed there for 3 miserable years. My grades as well as my relationship with family members slowly deteriorated. I couldn't get them to believe that I wasn't the problem. And it hurt me a lot to know that I was absolutely alone in this. And when I was at home I stayed in my room as to avoid conflict from individuals unwilling to listen to what I had to say. I did gain some comfort when my father told me during a car ride that he believed me and that he would be there if I needed him to be. Luckily by then the worst was behind me and better things were ahead. The people I worked for at the time had a sibling who was part of the adult ed program and had agreed to accept me in to finish my final year of high school by completeing night classes. The problems which everyone thought I was causing vanished as soon as I was set free from that prison called Cony High School. Seemingly overnight my grades went from being D and F up to A and B across the board. The course material was identical to that which I was previous failing. And some of the work I handed in was shown to the class as examples of how to write theme papers. Not bad for a guy who was flunked twice by another english teacher for writing theme papers he didn't like. He actually said one time, "It wasn't the theme I was looking for." Well guess what asshole, stories can have more than one theme. I can't read your mind to find out which one you want. This is also the same man who said, "I don't want anyone asking any questions during class. If you have a question come see me after class." The one and only time I ever came to ask him a question after class, he had his back to me the whole time I was talking and the only thing he said was come back some other time. I finished school and got my diploma 6 months before my class graduated. When I recieved my High School Diploma (not a GED) I gave it to my mother to keep. I know it meant more to her than to me, that's why I gave it to her. As far as I know she still has it to this day. A lot of things have happened since I finished High School. I've done a lot of different things for work, one of which was as a custodian for this very school in it's final year of operation. I've learned so much since then about life and people. One thing I know for sure is that people who have bully personalities usually end up in management positions of one kind or another. I've also learned that no matter what your education level or standing in the community is, you're still just another human being with feelings and flaws. All of those qualities spill out of you during the daily course of your life and effect the people around you. For whatever reason, I ended up in the middle of a very bitter and angry group of adults during my stay at Cony High School. The problem with this situation is so much deeper than what I've written here. I never registered to vote until the people were asked if they wanted to sell the land from this building and tear it down. I registered to vote just to have that building destroyed. And it passed. Yet that building stood for over 2 more years while a few individuals fought over it. Apparently the voice of the people doesn't mean anything in Augusta anymore. But that's another story. |
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